The devotion for today is written by Jan Andersen, entitled "OUT OF DARKNESS," where she discusses the darkness of depression and the light of the Lord. This is a re-write of a post she wrote in 2010, shortly after we started our devotional writings for WFM. She chose to rewrite it at this time because several of her close friends are suffering from depression at this time. From Psalm 107: "Some sat in darkness, in utter darkness, prisoners suffering in iron chains... Then they cried to the Lord in their trouble, and he saved them from their distress."
Blessed Sunday to all of you,
Corinne and Jan
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Today's Devotional
"OUT OF DARKNESS"
by
Jan Andersen
There have been times in my life when I was severely depressed. I had depleted almost all of my resources for living and simply wanted to lie down and never get up again in this world. I had given of myself so much, that I had no more left to give, even for myself. My giving was usually focused on everyone else anyway - at work, at church, at home. Much of this giving had been to cover up what I felt were major inadequacies in my life. Some of it stemmed from feeling guilty for things I felt convinced were my fault, both in childhood and as an adult. Then I started re-experiencing the traumas as if they were happening again, and I thought they would haunt me forever and drive me insane. I felt I could not live with those flashbacks. I was convinced that I had totally corrupted what God had created when He made me.
Some people say they don't understand how a Christian could possibly become this depressed or consider suicide. But even a Christian can become ill, and that is what depression is, an illness. The actual causes of depression are still being studied, but could include brain chemical issues, genetics, environment, or world views learned in childhood. Spiritually, a depressed person can lose sight of what God can do. Tunnel vision can prevent the person from seeing a way out of a situation. Even if the person knows God can forgive anything, they may feel unable to forgive themselves.
It took a long time for me to understand that it didn't matter if I couldn't forgive myself - that was God's job to forgive me. My own forgiveness of myself would come later, and it was ok for me to sit with that. I had to remember that it was God's decision how long I would live, not mine. In spite of being haunted by flashbacks that would intrude on my life, sending me back in time to traumatic events like I was literally there, I did eventually learn how to control or eliminate them. I also was recently reminded that even though I thought I had derailed what God had planned for my life, I was not and would never be that powerful! God will always direct the ultimate outcome of my life positively as long as I do not reject him.
Sometimes we need to be redirected back to see that God can handle anything. He is greater than any problems we might face and can turn them around in the most astounding ways. He might be using these situations to help us grow, or to teach us to forgive ourselves, or to help us learn to trust and rely on him more fully. In fact, those troubles may even be used by him later in our lives to help others in similar situations. Sometimes we need to reach out for help from others - professional counselors or clergy. Having good Christian family or friends to sit and cry with us and pray with and for us is invaluable. We need to hear that someone understands our aching hearts, loves us and won't abandon us, but isn't trying to fix it for us. Through those relationships we can see God's love at work and feel his comforting arms around us. All of us can be God's tools in the lives of others who are suffering and possibly help in saving their lives, physically and spiritually, bringing them out of their darkness into His marvelous light.
Psalm 107:10, 13-15 (NIV) Some sat in darkness, in utter darkness, prisoners suffering in iron chains... Then they cried to the Lord in their trouble, and he saved them from their distress. He brought them out of darkness, the utter darkness, and broke away their chains. Let them give thanks to the Lord for his unfailing love and his wonderful deeds for mankind.
Dear Lord, thank you for helping us out of the darkness into your marvelous light. Continue to send the right people into our lives at the right moments, to help us in our own struggles and to allow us to help them. Remind us that it does not matter how overwhelmed or devastated we feel, or how awful we may think we have been, you are always there to forgive and help us through. Help us to be effective witnesses to others of your great love and mercy. You have great things in store for us and brighter days ahead! In Jesus' name, Amen.
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Prayers are lifted up daily for
you by the Devotional Writers
and the Monthly Writing Staff
of Women's Focus Ministries.
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